Friends? Pulling the trigger to be safe

In your life, you'll be meeting that person who will be very special to you and will treat you like a sibling, a friend.

When I was in gradeschool, my definition of friend is "someone I'm comfortable with and a person with the same interests". I met a lot of people while I'm growing up and I still hold my definition of friend/friendship until these days. I cherish these friendships and I make sure that I do things to make them happy and to satisfy them. I don't want people to hate me if they have no reason, so I really struggle to enhance my flexibility to cope up with my friends with different personalities. But of course... In every race, there is a finish line.

I have a set of friends, yeah they're a group. This group is composed of peeps with different personalities and state of living. Majority of the members are around Average and some are below and few are above ave. I met this group because of an addiction for a specific person and to support the person (of course). I enjoyed our hangouts together and I believe that I developed my ability of coping up with people like them because of our experiences together. This is a really great experience for me since I'm new in opening my doors for new set of friends and by chance, I got a set of friends that is new to me. (Too much for the introduction)
As usual, I do please them and act as someone who is just like them because I don't want them to feel that I'm different. We loved each other after months of being together and we're even sleeping in a roof. This is my first time to sleep with friends and I'm really happy that I'm experiencing the things that are new to me. Our friendly relationship is running smooth for months... there may be misunderstandings but it is normal for friends as long as we can fix it. My friends know me for being so open to help in terms of advices or financially. I love spending my money not just for myself, but also for the people that I love. They say that blessings are better to be shared than to be consumed alone. Everything is running smooth til one day...

An issue strucked down just like a lightning. A lightning that can cause destructions and damages. It buzzed me up to know that I'm the apple of the eye in this issue. An issue once triggered may cause a loss, yeah... a permanent loss. I was faced in a position of standing alone with a gun focused at me and my so-called friends need to decide what to do with the trigger. Everyone's confused. No one knows what to do. I'm surprised... they pulled it.

The friends that I treated so damn good killed me. The people who I loved MORE THAN my family killed me for their benefit of playing safe. Who knows what the reason is? It is not important anymore. One clear thing is that I'm dead... and they are the reason why. I'm not expecting that I'll be facing this experience after everything that I've done... for them... for me... for us. Maybe it is not really good for us humans to expect things to be great  after doing good things for other people. In the first place, it was OUR CHOICE and NO ONE pushed us. Therefore, we should not be expecting something in return. I admit it, it's my fault. Sorry for expecting a lot. 

It is really painful to sacrifice something for your own benefit. Your benefit to be included in the safe house and to continue your adventure. I do understand. But of course, I learned. Thank you for the months of friendship anyway.



(PS: I can't tell the whole story because it's hard for me to type everything using an iPad so... I decided to write some parts in a creative way).

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